I come from a family of “doers”. I’d like to think of myself as a servant, but when I really examine the motivation behind the “doing”, it is less being a compassionate and invisible helper and more being Superman. Or maybe, more like Mighty Mouse. “Here I come to save the day! It means that Mighty Mouse is on the way!” (You have to be old to know the music . . . )

I have found affirmation in “doing”. It drives my husband crazy that I make “to do” lists before I go to bed at night, so I can rest peacefully in the knowledge that my goals for the next day are already established. I frequently remind him that all the best books on organizational skills and productivity advise their readers to make lists of what one hopes to accomplish on a daily basis. Hardly ever does my list begin with, [sitting] “at the Lord’s feet listening to what he” [says]. Luke 10:39 I love studying the Bible, reading devotional books, biographies and history about the church. The sitting and listening part comes harder. I DO hear His voice in my head intermittently throughout the day. Often it’s correction and instruction. I’m grateful for that. 

So it was really hard when we left our last pastorate, moved back to my hometown and floundered a bit while waiting for the Lord’s  direction on what to “do”. At least that was my mindset. Within a few months, my husband, Larry, received a letter regarding the renewal of his ordination. In the letter, our General Superintendent included a prayer by John Wesley. The first three and a half lines inspired me. They were a passionate prayer of commitment. I felt the euphoria of youth camp when I had told the Lord on a number of occasions,

“Lord, I’ll do whatever you want me to do. I’ll go to Mongolia and be a missionary. I’ll go to inner cities and teach poor children. I’ll work among lepers. I’ll take Bibles behind the Iron Curtain.” (This was in the 1960’s when there was still an Iron Curtain.)

Then, I read the fourth line of the prayer. “Let me be employed by thee or laid aside for thee . . . “ Laid aside? Do nothing? How could it possibly bring Him glory to do nothing? That was long before I understood that it is not our “doing” but our “being” in which He is most interested.

Wesley's Covenant Prayer 
From John Wesley's Covenant Service , 1780

I am no longer my own, but thine. 
Put me to what thou wilt, rank me with whom thou wilt. 
Put me to doing, put me to suffering. 
Let me be employed by thee or laid aside for thee, 
exalted for thee or brought low for thee. 
Let me be full, let me be empty. 
Let me have all things, let me have nothing. 
I freely and heartily yield all things 
to thy pleasure and disposal. 
And now, O glorious and blessed God, 
Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, 
thou art mine, and I am thine. So be it. 
And the covenant which I have made on earth, 
let it be ratified in heaven. Amen. 

Doing nothing does not come easily to me. I still have this need to produce. But I have seen the character of Jesus revealed most radiantly in family and friends in whom the ability to “do” has been slowly diminished. My brother, Tim, had the same family predisposition toward “doing”. Tim loved the outdoors. He worked for the forestry service, drove huge bulldozers to create trenches to fight the raging fires that often occur in SW Florida in the dry months. At that time, he was eighteen years old and weighed about 125 pounds.

Tim was a Navy corpsman in an elite Marine reconnaissance unit. I believe he was the first Navy corpsman ever to certify as a jumpmaster for the U.S. Marine Force Recon unit in which he served. He helped set up the first cardiac surgery unit in Lee County. He was definitely a “doer”. Then Tim contracted AIDS while he was stationed in the Philippines. Eight years after the initial diagnosis, with his days flavored by the metallic taste of the meds he took to combat the progress of the virus, and as his strength slowly ebbed away, he came to realize:

It’s not in trying but in trusting
It’s not in running but in resting
Not in wondering but in praying
That we find the strength of the Lord

Sometimes life seems like words and music
That can’t quite become a song.
So we cry inside, and we try it again
And wonder what could be wrong.
But, when we turn to the Lord at the end of ourselves
Like we’ve done a time or two before
We find His truth is the same
As it has always been
We’ll never need more.
Larnelle Harris

The Strength of the Lord became one of Tim’s favorite songs. Before I really understood the principle in my head, I felt the power of the message in my heart. Thank you for that, Larnelle. And thank you for sharing that knowledge with me, Tim. I miss you. A lot. But someday we'll be able to sit with Jesus together. And enjoy His presence forever. 

“Lord, in the midst of my doing, help me to BE more like You. Teach me the discipline and let me learn the joy of sitting at Your feet and just spending time with You.”